Emotional Intelligence in Action: How to Be Smarter with Your Feelings
- Jordan Turner
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Written by Jordan Turner, Mindful Education in Schools Director, Certified Six Seconds EQ Practitioner + Assessor
“Here’s something powerful to remember: emotions are data...Rather than leaving them at the door, we need to bring them with us—because they help us navigate life.” ~ Jordan Turner
Let’s face it—most of us didn’t grow up taking classes on emotions. While we spent years learning math, reading, and how to problem-solve academically, very few of us were ever taught how to recognize and work with our feelings.
That’s where emotional intelligence (EQ) comes in.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize our emotions—and the emotions of others—and use that awareness to make more purposeful, intentional choices. It’s not about ignoring or suppressing how we feel. It’s about bringing our emotions with us and using them wisely. In other words, it’s about being smarter with our feelings.
The Heart of Emotional Intelligence: Being Smarter with Your Feelings
One of the most practical tools for building emotional intelligence comes from Six Seconds, a global EQ network. Their model breaks EQ down into three powerful steps: Know Yourself, Choose Yourself, and Give Yourself—or as we often call it, KCG.
Let’s walk through it.
1. Know Yourself
This first step is all about emotional literacy and self-awareness. Here’s something powerful to remember: emotions are data. They give us information about what’s going on inside and around us. Rather than leaving them at the door, we need to bring them with us—because they help us navigate life.
Ask yourself: What am I feeling? And what else am I feeling?
Often, our emotional experiences are layered. You might feel angry on the surface but underneath, you’re actually overwhelmed, nervous, or even excited. Taking a moment to pause and name those feelings can dial down the emotional “thermostat” and help us think more clearly.
We also need to recognize our patterns. For example, do you shut down when you’re anxious? Do you lash out when you’re frustrated? These patterns are like emotional habits—and we all have them.
2. Choose Yourself
Once you understand what you're feeling, you can move to the next step: choosing how to respond.
This is where consequential thinking comes into play. It’s about pausing before reacting and asking: What are my options? What might happen if I choose this response? What aligns with who I want to be?
Here’s an example I’ve personally run across that maybe you can relate to: You run into someone whose name you’ve forgotten. Do you avoid saying their name—or admit you forgot it? Most people avoid. But if you pause for just six seconds and think, “What are the long-term effects of that avoidance?” you realize you’re missing a connection. And connection might be one of your values.
So you choose differently. You say, “I’m so sorry—I’m blanking on your name.” It might feel awkward for a second, but you’ve opened the door to authentic connection.
It works the same way even in more emotionally charged situations—like a conflict with your partner. You pause, consider your values and goals, and then choose your response.
Jordan and Molly discuss emotional intelligence, core values, and balancing work and life in The Best Version of Yourself Podcast. Watch on YouTube or Spotify.
3. Give Yourself
This final piece is all about empathy and purpose. When we give ourselves empathy and connect with our values, we can also extend that empathy to others. And that’s what EQ is really about—creating meaningful relationships, resolving conflict, and showing up in alignment with who we want to be.
Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? What’s my Noble Goal?
One powerful way to tap into this is to define your “why” in just one word. Maybe it’s connection, warmth, optimism, or light. Your “why” is like your emotional compass. When life throws you off track (as it will), this one word helps you recenter and realign.
Bringing EQ Into Real Life
The great thing is that building emotional intelligence doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. It just takes small, intentional pauses throughout the day:
Notice what you’re feeling. (I personally love to keep an Emotions and Physical Feelings Chart handy)
Consider your patterns.
Pause and ask, “What are my options?”
Choose in a way that reflects your values.
Keep coming back to your “why.”
Whether you're an educator, a parent, a partner, or a leader, EQ helps you show up as your best self—and helps others do the same. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present, being thoughtful, and choosing growth over reaction.
So next time emotions rise, remember: you’ve got six seconds. That’s all it takes to shift from reactive to reflective—and to make a choice that truly aligns with the person you want to be.
Thanks for reading,
Jordan
[Online, Self-Paced Continuing Education]
Mindful Leadership Certificate Program
The Mindful Leadership Certificate Program is a 12-week immersive learning journey designed to empower teachers with the foundational skills of mindfulness and emotional intelligence. This course supports the development of authentic, compassionate leadership in the classroom and beyond.
Participants will explore practical tools to reduce stress, build self-awareness, and strengthen interpersonal relationships—core competencies that foster a healthy learning environment and model emotional resilience for students.
Participants will get a certificate upon completion and are eligible for 3 graduate or relicensure credit through Courses4Teachers.
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