Written by Kayla Reetz, Yoga Instructor + Trauma Supports Team Member
"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." - Benjamin Spock
Family squabbles are part of life.
Each of us have them and when kids are involved, they become a little more passionate, a little more heated.
Parenting is hard.
There are constant reminders of things you are not doing instead of reminders of the things you are.
Everyone- family especially- believes they can tell you what you “should” or “could” do.
All of these pressures combine and can leave a parent feeling like they are not doing the job they’re supposed to.
From a recent squabble in my life, I felt compelled to write the following.
I don’t think it qualifies as a poem, but it may have some truths in it too.
Its intention is to simply remind all of us what we do every day to help raise happy, healthy kids.
Sometimes we get lost in the extra parts, that we lose sight of the simplest and most effective things.
Please enjoy. I hope it’s something you come back to whenever you need it.
I invite you to take a breath or two and repeat a mantra to yourself that reminds you of what you are doing, rather than what you could be doing.
Maybe you post it somewhere you can read it on the especially hard and taxing days.
No matter what, know that you are enough.
You Are Enough
Some parents make sure their kids have what they need
when they need it as often as possible.
They expect their kids to help them with the chores and caregiving,
but maintain firm boundaries so their kids can be kids too.
Hugs and kisses remind their kids
they are loved for who they are
and not what they become,
showing their kids
they are already valued
and it is not contingent
on successes and failures.
And they are enough.
Some parents spend time
with their kids
with their phones down,
modeling how to enjoy life in the present-
how to spend the only commodity
that can’t be given back:
time.
They find healthy ways
to manage their stress
from work and all things adulthood
so their kids don’t get the “leftovers”,
while some parents have
a structured device time into their day,
knowing they and their kids need time
to themselves before they can give to others.
Some parents make mistakes
and model how to right their wrongs,
own up to their choices,
allowing their kids to see they aren’t perfect
and to be perfect
is never the expectation.
And they are enough.
Some parents put up with the tantrums,
place rules to ensure their kids’ safety,
knowing that it is more work for them.
Some parents have the hard conversations,
knowing it is what’s best for their child’s future
even if it is a struggle to talk about.
Some parents allow others to lead those conversations,
knowing it will be more meaningful coming from someone else.
Some parents make sure
there is ample food in the house
so their kids can eat-
even if it means a smaller meal for themself.
And they are enough.
Some parents establish routines
their kids can expect-
things like bedtime and waking up,
as well as meal times
because they know this is what helps kids feel safe and comforted
when the rest of the world feels messy.
They also allow for spontaneity,
teaching that some of the best moments are not planned,
but found.
And they are enough.
And some parents are willing to work to be better
every day not for themselves,
but for their kids,
remembering they model the parenting
they will see for potential grandkids one day.
They remember this responsibility is not easy,
but important for the future.
And they are enough.
Some parents stay,
working every day,
and some parents don’t,
but they maintain a meaningful connection with their kids,
reminding them they are supported
and that love knows no bounds.
And they are enough.
Don’t forget to give credit
where credit is due.
It’s the simple things kids remember the most
and will refer back to
when they get to be
what they always wanted:
just like you.
~ Kayla Reetz
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